Category Archives: Article

Advisory to Students Re: Shower Availability for Females

Hello again, campus residents! This is another message from your beloved Campus Office of Decency, which as you may recall has helped improve conditions and decency on campus before, with our innovative Campus Shaving Service (http://www.collegecodeofconduct.com/campus-shaving-service). And now, we have another exciting update! As you are no doubt aware, female shower arrangements on campus have been problematic for some time. As boys and inspectors may burst in on them for peer inspections or just to check up on their dear female friends, all too many girls have suffered embarrassment and humiliation at this unexpected exposure in a presumptively private location. To help illustrate how girls may be embarrassed in this manner, we have chosen to publish several photographs of such embarrassed girls to help our readers better understand what we mean. We are certain these girls, in the spirit of public service, are more than happy to help out in this manner, though technically we did not actually check.

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As you can see, these girls seem to suffer acute embarrassment – albeit generally borne with a good-natured smile, as befits a good campus girl – from such exposure in their private showers, as evidenced by the photos taken (and now made widely public). They even seem to forget the campus guidelines against “covering up”, which should of course be understood to apply at all times as we believe decency should know no bounds or limits – and that goes for the measures designed to enforce and encourage it as well, naturally.

Well, worry not, campus residents – your Office of Decency has divined a solution! The problem was clear – embarrassment of our female population by male viewing of their private showering activities. After careful analysis by our finest experts, the solution became self-evident. Since it was the interruption of their private showers that caused the embarrassment, logically making all female showers completely open to public viewing by design should completely eliminate this kind of embarrassment! Now our girls can get wet and rub down every part of their young nude bodies with soap (or those of their friends in the spirit of helpfulness our girls are so well known for) in full view of the entire campus population. Thus, embarrassment from intrusion into private showering spaces will be totally eliminated, as there will be no private showering spaces available for female use.

Of course the simplest way of making girls’ showers open to public viewing is simply to move them outside, avoiding the need for costly and impractical internal renovations. This way students all around campus can admire our naked young coeds as they demonstrate their commitment to personal hygiene as they wash up where absolutely anyone can see them – fellow students, professors, visiting parents, tourists seeing the sights in New Town and stopping by our Central University, which has acquired quite the reputation. For our lovely architecture, we assume. Why else take so many pictures here, and share them so enthusiastically with friends and online? It simply stands to reason. And to our now publicly showering girls: rest assured that your decency is perfectly preserved, as of course nudity is simply expected when showering and thus should not be viewed as indecent at all. No matter how much the boys on campus may take advantage of the fondling rule to grope every part of your totally exposed bodies, even to the point of provoking a sexual reaction in some shamefully indecent girls necessitating an immediate consensual rape by whichever boy (or boys, plural) may be closest. Simply rise above, ladies. Or go down, as the circumstances may indicate.

In any event, the documentary evidence clearly supports the success of the new initiative, already launched into its preliminary stages. The easiest installations were those set up at the beach nearby campus, as showers for washing off sand were already present – they simply had to be designated as repurposed. Take a look:

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As you can see, no embarrassment is evident, despite the extremely public nature of the shower setups. Or should we say, BECAUSE of the extremely public character of the showers, as our logic is clearly vindicated.

Encouraged by this success, we have proceeded with installing more showers by the sides of buildings and other public locales.

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Some girls are so eager for the changeover that they are even bathing in water fountains!

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We do have two more points to note before we conclude, however. First, the changeover is completely mandatory and must be complied with as soon as possible. We are confident this has nothing to do with the enthusiastic embrace of the new system documented above, as we believe our girls would be fully persuaded that this was the best course of action in any case. Despite our decision not to spend resources on consulting them on the change at all. The mandate is thus simply a fail-safe. Second, to avoid issues such as theft of clothing while in the showers, all girls must be completely naked for the entire trip to and from the new public showers. If time constraints do not permit them to return home before their next class (this applying especially to any girls who have chosen to live off-campus), they must simply remain naked as they go about their day until such opportunity arises, and are expected to bear any prolonged fondling of their most private areas and/or consensual rapes with good grace as simply necessary implications of the new system. They may, however, bring a towel with them so they do not have to walk around wet from the showers. While of course it is possible they may choose to wrap the towel around them, this of course simply means they are likely to be inspected and reveal themselves in an embarrassing public spectacle, as with this girl:

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Instead, we recommend they take the lead of these girls, and simply wrap their towels around their heads both before and after showering:

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And so, this concludes our message on the update of female showering facilities. We hope you have all found our frank (and revealing!) explanation to be helpful and informative!

–Your Campus Office of Decency